jekyll and hyde.

if you've been following from the last post...you could guess there would be a story whenever i go out with elle. well, yesterday (friday) was no different. *sigh*
elle and i go to oxygen bar in leicester square for a 'black ppl' meetup group..(i know, i'm really into these meetup groups lately) anyway, black men and women were supposed to be at the meetup, but predominantly women showed up. no problem, right? well, unless the women were sociable...which they weren't? so elle and i just kept to ourselves until we made it to the club dwnstrs. (the meetup was @ the bar on the main floor)....
issue #1: 'the jekyll and hyde loo attendant' - i had been drinking champagne cocktails, and admittedly went to the loo THREE TIMES for the night. now, on the first time i went to the loo the 'which-part-of-africa-are-u-from-bathroom attendant?' greeted me with a smile and was just too nice, like she was working extra hard for her tip? but whatever, i didnt tip her anyway, cuz i don't feel i should tip you for personally dispensing my soap...now, on the second trip to the loo, i walk in the stall, pee, get soap from the attendant, don't tip her again and leave..NO PROBLEM..now, on my THIRD trip to the toilet, there was no tissue on the dispenser in the stall (but there was a roll laid on its side on the dirty-ass-club-bathroom-ledge behind the toilet). i saw it. i just didn't want to use it.

PROBLEM: i ask the african lady for some paper napkins (which she is now holding instead of soap)b/c im not using the dirty toilet tissue in the club stall and she just switched on me!? i don't know where that pearly yellow smile went, but she got up, went into the stall, and says very impolitely, "look, dont u see paper there? use that. that is for the toilet this is for ur hand..this is for ur hand!!"(waving the paper napkins at me). i looked at her thinking "what is this woman's problem? just give me the damn paper napkin, sh*t..i dont want to use the toilet tissue..i don't see what's so difficult?! but what i said was, 'is there a problem? b/c i just want a paper napkin? she responds, er shouts, "you've been in here 6 times already", and starts kissing her teeth, climbs back on her little stall-attendant-chair- and keeps looking over her shoulder as if she was gonna call security. like wtf was she really going to do? IT'S TOILET TISSUE?!? that i don't want to use. ugh? mind you, i have a very impatient bladder and this charade went on for 5 minutes, which is long when you have to urinate. i just gave up, went to the stall and had to do the shake-n-go cuz(yes, i did) i was not using that nasty ass paper... i just washed my own hands and left. i mean, you would've thought this lady was supplying the paper herself.

issue #2- before my champagne cocktails, elle and i had sambuca shots. elle told me she hadn't taken shots in awhile, but being the ahem, alcohol pro that i am, said 'no, elle, it's ook, it's sambuca it's "sweet"'. ok, so after elle threw up, this nigerian guy who had been chattin me up the whole night kindly decided to take us home(named dj or tj?)---
-- (wait, dj/tj is calling me as i write this? let me make up some lie that im busy, well, i am actually busy, writing this blog, yup, that'll work..)--

ok, back to the post. so, dj/tj drops me home first, and so elle tells me that she told dj/tj about this comedy show that i am going to tomorrow. mind you, I AM GOING TO, like solo, cuz i want to. elle tells him, that he can join me and that i don't think she really (as in i) dont really want to go alone.. ummm..'scuse me? elle..i dont want his company..first of all, im not attracted to him, and 2nd of all he's nigerian and they have some well-documented problems over here in the UK, and 3rd - well, just because.
soooo, i really might end up on another not-a-date courtesy of elle. no thank you.

and back to the paper issue -- there is a serious problem with paper, in general, in this city. first i can only get ONE NAPKIN when i dine out, and i dare not ask for another one..there must be a shortage??! and now i can't decide on how i would like to wipe my ass? tissue or napkin...hmmmm..